Things I like
Slush puppys – I naw its canablizm but its blooming tasty.

Things I don’t like
Raymond blooming Briggs and Aled blooming Jones – total pile of rubbish all that flying in the air and girly dancin rubbish.

My friends say I am
Filthy – coz of my choyse language. Wen weer oot drinking they sing Filthy the snowman was a very filthy sole, with a corn-nob pipe and a bottom noze and two b******* made oot of cole. Flipping class like.

If I wasn’t at the North Pole I would be
Snowhere hahahahahahahahahaha geddit? Hahahahahaha hahahahahahahaha hahaahhahahaha. I am blooming funny me.

My secret talent is
A flipping funny party trick involving my mate Frosty’s carrot nose and his too i’s made out of cole. Blooming Frosy’s not to keen on it likes, coz he has to wash his veg careful after.