All claims frozen following expenses scandal

As you have probably read in the papers and seen on the news, the children of the world have asked all areas of the magic services to publish their expenses claims. This has uncovered a few scandals, with the tooth fairy already stepping down after it was revealed she has been claiming for gallons of ice cream and hundreds of chocolate bars. This clearly is good news for Santa Ltd – as her conduct must surely put her out of the race in terms of the tender process.

We’re also awaiting confirmation of rumours that the abominable snowman could be evicted from his snow cave after he was found out to be claiming for a second home in Mexico.

So far we’ve managed to stay beneath the radar but I imagine it’s only a matter of days before some of those reporters at the Goblinardian come calling. We’re certainly not spotless, mainly because of Rudolph putting in a claim for his new nose and several cases of Cristal. Also a number of surgical procedures have been claimed by our fairy friends. Although I’m naming no names, doesn’t everyone agree that the Top fairy is looking particularly hot this year – particularly at the grand old age of 324. So – although we’ve brought in our friends at Gardiner Richardson again this year to develop lines to take, I suggest you guys make like Fred the shred and shred, if you know what I mean (I’ve been asked to point out that Gardiner Richardson did not advise this particular course of action).

As you all know we are working towards a pitch to retain this contract and things like these don’t help our reputation. Please, please, please make sure the claims you put in are for work related causes.

No more slip ups.

Roy.