FAO FAIRIES ONLY (EXCEPT TINKERMEL)

Fellow fairies,

The pitch is coming up and we're all under pressure. Santa's already done his back in. I saw Frumpy Flo yesterday, she was not coping well and stuffing her already porcine-like face full of more cake. More cake! It'll be her replacing Colin Jnr next year if she's not careful. Anyway, last time I saw Trixy....well her face was expressionless as usual, thanks to all the Botox. But needless to say someone had better think of some ideas for new toys sharpish.

A friend of mine knows someone who knows someone who can get fairy dust on the cheap. We know it's a banned substance at Santa Limited after Twinkerbell Tiffaz suffered a meltdown and wrecked the office nativity scene, leading to her banishment from Santa Limited. So I'll plant it in Tinkermel's locker once the pitch is over - she'll never be any the wiser and I'll call in Roy. She's been annoying me lately anyway so I've been sprinkling it on her Festiveflakes on a morning. Ahaha! Anyway.

Anyone who wants to enhance creative thoughts with Fairy Dust knows where you can find me. And you didn't get it from me.

Cheers,

Jezabel

Ssssssh. Fairy Dust, as seen on Tinkermel's Festiveflakes

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Jezabel, as always with you I have the feeling that I ought to be very worried about this. However, as always with you, I don't quite understand what you're talking about.

As long as it stays that way you may continue with whatever it is you're up to.

But the moment I make sense of your, no doubt, fiendish plans, rest assured I will think about doing something.

Ahh-that explains Tinkermel's current state of paranoia! I wondered why she was found pacing the halls at 2am rambling to herself with eyes as wide as saucers.
Jezabel, you really are a despicable member of the fairy race. Not only have you made (unfounded) allegations about my youthful complexion but you are spiking another member of the fairyhoods brekkie....I have a good mind to call in the authorities. However I have heard fairydust is good for suppressing the appeptite - any chance you can get me some at cost price and there'll be no more said?